Dreams

Dreams have always been something I've thought was really a special treat..

You know, not just a 'thing' that some people do on some nights but not on others, but something really extraordinary... a glimpse into the future or another world or, if you're really lucky, sometimes even a message..!

I get the same feeling when I dream as when someone gives me a present - the thrill of being special enough to get something and the feeling of anticipation about what you're going to get or what's going to happen next.. your heart beats a little faster and your mind races to try and figure out what the present is, or where your dream is going to take you next..

What I didnt realise though, is that I'm one of the lucky ones who can actually control their dreams if I want.. I thought that's what everyone did but apparently it's not. It's called 'lucid dreaming' and it can be learned however.. This just means that if I dont like the direction my dream is going in, then I change it, I make it a happier or nicer dream so most of my dreams are good dreams :)

There was a recurring dream I used to have when I was younger. It was a really tall multi-story building with me sortof a third the way up with people walking about and around me were cells, as in jail cells, but with comfy beds and an armchair in each and a tv etc, rather cosy..

If I looked up though, the cells became more sparse and bare with heavier bars and a whole lot more drained of colour and life, even the people walking around moved slower and seemed older and more grey. If I looked down things looked even better, more colourful and the people walked faster and were younger and younger until right at the bottom, there werent even bars, it was all just open with children running all over the place. There was a great big bright blue swimming pool in the middle that was filled with children playing and splashing and having an absolute ball that you could look down on. If you looked really carefully you could see that even the doors on the bottom floor were open and allowed anyone that wanted to, to walk outside.. The funny thing was that even though all the floors were connected, no one was even trying to go downstairs, they all walked around a bit and then eventually walked upstairs and then found a cell...

There was also a 'jailer' walking around. He was a yellow gold skeleton with a great big cowboy hat on and he carried something in his hands, what exactly no one could see, but he had something. He didnt say anything or do anything, he was just there, walking from one floor to the next but everyone seemed to be afraid of him for some reason.

I spoke to someone about my dream a couple of years later and they said it seemed to be an analogy for life - everyone is so concerned about moving to the next level (up each flight of stairs) and not noticing that they're slowly getting older and life is less rewarding than what it was (sparse cells and less colour).. What we dont realise is that we all have the connection with our inner child, but we're not using it (that's the stairs going down that no one uses). If we learn how to be children again then we'll realise that we're actually free to be who we want to be (the doors are open).. The jailer is basically the belief that we have that we are constrained by someone/something like wealth, status or fashion when there is actually no substance to it at all...

Deep stuff in there, well it's either that or I could've been seeing a couple of alternate episodes of Prison Break... ;)

Symbolism

I happened to be walking around yesterday and I saw someone obviously in a bit of distress clutching the cross around their neck, now, after being in a convent for 8 years, the cross is a very strong symbol for me even though I am now muslim and I started thinking about what it actually means to me.

What I came to realise is that the cross, the star and moon, the Jewish star, the pentacle, the turban, the yamacula, the numbers '666' '786' etc etc, all have something in common - they're all symbols of something. 

Ok, so I realise that that sentence seems rather obvious, but actually it's not. How many times has someone actually asked to have their licence plate changed because it was '666' and they didnt want to have any bad luck? How many arguments have started (and never actually finished) because someone said they couldnt have or they had to have the Jewish star/pentacle/cross in a certain place or that the number has special powers?

I know plenty of people that say that their symbol has magical powers and to be honest, if that works for them, then great. My personal feeling though is that it's not the symbol that has the power, it's the person. They are the source of the magic or the miracle. It's their belief that something is going to work that makes it happen. Unfortunately, they dont want to see that it was actually their doing. They would rather believe that it was something outside of them, something external that caused something amazing. 

Why dont they want to believe that it was them? Firstly I think it's easier to invest and focus all of our energies in something other than ourselves because we have this belief that we are not more than what we are - extraordinary.

Also I think it's because of the innate fear of failure we all have. If they admit that it was due to them, it will be expected again and again and what happens if it doesnt happen again? Then they wont be able to 'blame' the symbol, fate, a higher power for the lack of a miracle, they will feel that it's their 'fault'... and for me, that is humanity's biggest failure - the need to blame.

If we didnt feel the need to blame, we wouldnt have revenge, war, hate, crime, self-loathing, prejudice... I can carry on and on.. but we are brought up that way - blaming, fingerpointing, hiding, avoiding responsibility. 

How do we change this? I believe that even though there is already a lot of damage done in the world, each of us needs to start with ourselves and with our children.. everyone making a little change will change the world someday.

So back to the symbols. They don't have the power that we attribute them, but they do have the power to remind us who we are and what we're capable of, if we're strong enough to believe it.

Too much..

I've been doing a lot of reading and general investigating and searching on the internet recently.. on a sidenote: I wonder if scouring the internet counts as searching for the meaning of life? It must be on the www by now surely.....?

Anyway, I digress.. while I've been doing all this searching and signing up etc etc, I seem to have had a couple of revelations - 'Aha! moments' they're usually called.

The first 'Aha!' is that people don't know what they want.

Now I'm not talking about how you like your steak cooked or what colour you like, those questions you've been asked ever since you could talk so you've had to come up with an answer for those. Do you usually chose the same size and cut of jeans because you went through all the trouble years ago and have stuck with the choice you made then? Or do you usually wear a blue shirt with navy pants because your one girlfriend told you once that you looked good like that?

If I was to ask you how you like your coffee what would you say? Weak, sweet and milky? I doubt it - according to a study, 75% of people asked said "dark and strong" but only about 20% really like it "dark and strong"..

So what's going on..? Why do we lie about what we want - sometimes without even realising it? I'm think it's because we don't really think about things.. we're bombarded day after day with loads and loads of information and on top of that we've become so incredibly lazy and 'open minded' so we accept things at face value.. When the TV advertises people enjoying "strong black coffee with a rich dark aroma", we subconsciously think that this is how we are supposed to drink our coffee.. But when you go to make that cup, you're going to make it how you want it - no matter what the ads (or your doctor) says..

We're becoming immune to the usual advertising of everyday products. If you've been using a certain painkiller/toilet paper/breakfast cereal for years and it's been working for you, exactly what kind of advertising is going to get you to change your mind?

The advertising that works, however, is the advertising of the new and 'gadgety'. You've never seen this before, it could change your life (seriously....), you'll be a new/prettier/happier person once you have this.

When we say that we're going 'window shopping', that's just an excuse to go see what else is 'new' out there. We never knew that what we were missing out on was a Wii....! I mean, how did I ever get fit without the balance board/Billy Bo's Tai-bo videos/evening aerobics classes at the gym?

We're a culture of fickle and easily-bored creatures who have a handful of predetermined ideas that we've clung to from when we were angst-ridden teenagers, and the rest of our lives are easily swayed by whatever is new out there.. the iphone, twitter, wii, xbox, space saver, ps2, airbed, ps1, the big green clean machine... all the way back to sliced bread..

Everything is faster, cleaner, simpler, more efficient and we have more gadgets and things to help us get more time but I dont think I know anyone who sits around and says "Gee, look at all this free time I have now" after buying the latest and greatest gadget on the market...

And whatever is the latest and greatest now, is probably outdated in a month and old news in 6 - if you're lucky.. I'm even lucky if you've got this far into my blog..

I have to revise my 'Aha!' statement. We do know what we want, and that is that we want to be happy, but we're looking for things to 'make' us happy instead of looking inwards, because it's only us that can make ourselves happy.. nothing else..

Random thoughts...

Who figured out that we only use 10% (or less) of our brain? did someone remove the other 90% and say, "hey look, he's still the same politician he always was..."

How did ducks figure out aerodynamics and how to fly so close to each other without creating huge pile ups in the sky..?

What is the definition of what's 'instant' - I mean, I wait at least 3 minutes for water to boil when making instant coffee..

Why do we say 'freshen up'? it's not like anything's gone down has it?

How can two seemingly opposite words mean the same thing - flammable and inflammable.. and was there a word fight to see who could get their word into the dictionary first?

Who looked at a cow many many years ago and said "lemme drink whatever I get out when I squeeze here..."

Why do we cut down trees to build jungle gyms?

Realising how much I have to say thank you for...

It's not often you realise that all the bad times that you've been through or going through in your life is not just the Universe or God trying to teach you something, but it's also using you to help teach other people lessons in life... and sometimes it needs you for the really hard lessons, the ones you need to be really tough to handle, not for your own sake - but for whoever is learning the lesson..

It's so very easy to be caught up in 'everything that's happening to me' and not notice that this is maybe a lesson that's being taught to someone else, and you're one of the lead players.. If you get something out of it, then that's a bonus, but that doesn't necessarily mean that was the reason for the situation..

So I need to say thank you, not just for the lessons that I'm learning.. but also for using me in teaching other people their lessons.. if I can help with enlightening other people, then that's one of the most useful things I can think of doing in life.. 

Or rather, if I am someone's subconscious call for help or lesson, then I am so grateful that I'm the one that they chose to be part of their life.. 

Numerology - wow, absolutely accurate!

The number 9 year is one of completion and marks the beginning of the ending of everything you have managed to accomplish during the last decade. This is an uncomfortable year for many individuals, especially if they are unable to embrace change. You may feel restless and things that used to interest you may be replaced by new desires. If you are not able to let go of the past willingly, a situation may manifest that forces you to change. This is the year you reap what you sow.

More kiddies

My youngest was sitting on the couch the other day and suddenly said "Mommy, bottle!"

Now I'm a stickler for manners, and I'm usually pretty hard on them, but I was feeling rather soft so I said "a 'Please' would be nice!"

So he said "Please would be nice!"

Good point...

You know one of the biggest downfalls I have is what I always considered to be one of my best traits - trying to please everyone..

I said to someone the other day that I dont always get it right, but at least I have to try.. This was their reply (dumb comments inbetween are mine):
"How many people are in the world?"
"umm.. dunno about 6 billion or so"
"and what percentage of those would you say are athiest or satanists?"
"huh? umm.. well at a guess, 5 or 10 percent maybe?"
"so that works out to what, about 30 million at a conservative guess right?"
"yeah.. I think so" <---you've figured out this is me right?
"So if God can get it right to please 30 000 000 people and He's supposed to be the perfect being, how the heck are you going to get it right?"
"----"

Where's my sign?

Ever get the feeling you're meant for something greater? Not the life you're living now, but something that if you had to look inside would make you feel like the guys in Pulp Fiction carrying the case - awe and wonder and amazement....

Not that there's anything wrong with your life as it is now, but it's just 'something' ... you cant put your finger on it and every time you examine it, it's almost like you're delving into the unknown and you dunno whether it's a good thing or a bad thing so you back off a bit and leave it alone with the promise that you'll 'get to it sometime'... but you never do.. it's a bit of fear of the unknown, but also the fear that you're wrong...

And if you're wrong, that means that you have no higher purpose, you're not that special, you're just a plain jane with nothing to contribute to the world than the next generation and hopefully somewhere, somehow, someone in your bloodline will do something important and your life wont be worth nothing..

You just wish there was some sort of indication that where you are, what you're doing, who you are, is right... that this is where you're supposed to be or be doing.. 

And if not, if you're supposed to go down the rabbit hole, if you've got bigger things to do, then show me a sign dammit... where's my sign?

Threshold

I seem to be on the brink of something.. what that is, I'm still not sure but it feels like it's just around the corner...

It feels like it's life changing, absolutely mind blowing and will change my life and everyone else's around me for the rest of however long.. I'm excited and nervous at the same time and impatient too.. I want whatever it is now, I hate not knowing..

I guess I feel that about anything really, as long as I know, I'm ok.. it's the not knowing that gets me 

Hold on though people, because once whatever this is breaks through, there's no stopping it.. this is the good pandora's box that we've been waiting for for all this time.. we just need to allow it through...

More

Ok, so back on my topic of 'something's a coming'... The more I speak to people, the more I get the feeling that everyone is 'suffering' from the same feeling - that there's a major shift in the whole world at the moment... And you know the feeling when you adjust an uncomfortable pair of pants, that second where it's actually a little more sore but then it's a whole lot better straight afterwards? That's what it the feeling seems to be like that many people are experiencing.. 

It's not bad, it just seems a little distressing to the more sensitive ones and a little bit of an unsettling feeling to those not-so-sensitive..

The world is changing, it's straightening up, it's reaching it's arms out and stretching, dusting off the grey ugly particles that have somehow attached themselves to it.. Those dusty particles are not going to be happy but then hey, who said everyone has to be happy with everything?

Once the world has had a chance to shake itself out and stand up from it's lazyboy where it's comfortably settled over the past decades, then what? Do we all suddenly become magically enlightened fairy sprinkles of (environmentally friendly) light sparkling all over the place? Or do we hang on for dear life begging that things settle down just a little so that we can make sure our grip on reality is tight enough so that we dont fall off?

No one wrote me a manual for this. Admittedly, no one wrote me a manual for life either, but I've sortof fumbled my own way through that and the semi-path that I believe is my reality is a pretty well beaten one and one that I have quite a bit of time and energy invested in.

This is different though, I dont have a movie reference for it, I dont have a book for it, I dont even have a friendly conversation that ever referenced something like this.

There are all sorts of coincidences that are happening, I seem to be reminded about the number 73 a lot for some reason. The amount of people who decided to chose stripes for their wardrobe today was quite scary, what's even a little more unnerving is that the ones I saw were all horizontal stripes at that.. Want me to take it a little further? They were all either black and white stripes or dark and light stripes. Why? no idea.. one of those little reminders for those of us that take notice that the universe is constantly working, watching, moving, shifting - all in response to us...

another kiddie snippet

My son has recently learnt how to put his shoes on, thing is, he keeps putting the left shoe on the right foot and vice versa. Each time I tell him to swop the shoes to put them on the right way, or so that they don't hurt him. The other day, however, I said "because they're on the wrong feet"

He then replied "but I dont have any other feet.."