Status updates...

I know one day I'm going to wish I'd kept all my status updates as I really enjoy the process of creating them so here goes the past few months' worth...

Ice....
...as thousands of tiny rainbow butterflies cascade around her sprinkling her hair with coloured kisses...
...feels millions of tiny sharp shattered pieces slice into her soul as she treads delicately on the smashed mirrors lying as far as the eye can see
...is on the beach of emotions picking up the pink pearls of broken hearts that waves of time have gently smoothed and rounded..
...stops the world and melts with you...
...watches as tiny sequins of dew collect on her skin sparkling in the moonlight...
...is putting bright red bows on her bottles of puppy-cuddliness....

...is making tinfoil stars for the windows so they can feel like they're part of the sky again..
...is trying to hold the sleep in, but it keeps escaping through her fingers and out of her mouth....
...is... therefore she rocks ;)
...leaves sugar crystal footprints wherever she goes...
...wonders if the higher the jump, the better the conclusion...?

...is trying to figure out how the king, queen and jack in cards came about? Why not the Duke and Duchess as well? and maybe a couple of Earls
...thinks that she should get an army of 1000 5-yr olds to paint all the roads rainbow colours....
...wonders if paddling around in the fountain of youth is supposed to make your skin all wrinkly like that....?
...wonders how much lucky butterfly-wing glitter is sprinkled over us each day without us even realising it....?
...thinks that sub-atomic particles should give it a rest now...

...says that spreading syrup on the pavement is harder than it looks....
...thinks that if the White Rabbit had been on time, the Fox might've still been there to catch him.. Lucky rabbit..
...has it on good authority that major gold farming is happening in China by a character named "Michael Phelps"..
...feels a little daft... can someone explain what 'huted' means?
...thinks this is just too damn funny - http://ping.fm/UReKB
...wonders if dark cars go faster because there's no light-friction....?

...imagines that sugar must get really dizzy in a candyfloss machine...
...is gently melting into the world...
...is as busy as a fish....
...remembers that she really likes downlights... :)
...is psyching up for cellular sweven..

...would love to know what exactly pirates kept finding that would take out just one of their eyes - and sometimes an arm and a leg......?
...just discovered ping.fm... and found that updating *every* site will spam friendfeed mercilessly... back to the data-relationship board
...is looking at the world through daisy-coloured glasses (they were out of roses...)
...thinks that we've become experts at teaching people how to remember, but we're useless at teaching them how to grow..

's mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained..
...Too much.. http://tinyurl.com/6b4fdp
...says if there are lots of reasons, just name 6...
...isn't lost, I'm right here!
...is finally at.. umm wait, where is this again?

...eating her Life-flakes one bowl at a time and is almost at the toy inside the box!
...is even blonde in French.... doh!
...can feel the snap, crackle, pop as the neurons connect and reconnect inside her head...
...feels herself starting to freeze from the outside in as my skin turns a light blue and white starting at the fingertips..
...it's colder than before...

...The world is just an illusion trying to change you...
...has finally figured out that laughter is the human cipher-key..
...thinks that if ignorance is bliss, then why arent there a whoole lot more happy ppl in the world...?
...does NOT condone the killing of bananas... run little ones run!

...wraps her thorn wings tighter around her and feels the protective bite into her skin..
...wonders what's with all the 'Dummies' books... where have all the SMART ppl gone...? "Sex for Dummies"?? I mean really.......
...wading through the crashing waves of paperwork
...is building her perfect life. You can't help but be excited when you think of the possibilities.....!

...is testing the tensile strength of rainbows.
...quietly stirs her soul while sipping on the sweet taste of midnight...

still more kids...

We havent been at the beach for a good long while and spent most of the summer making use of the pool. Today we decided to pop through and just walk on the beach for a bit and as we climed over the top of the hill, my 4-yr exclaimed
"Mommy look at all the water! It's just like we've got at home, just without the walls..."

Colour me pink....

When I ..
 ....am feeling bubbly
 ....dip my finger in the yoghurt tub
 ....feel like a kid again
 ....am just like a polka dot
 ....am a barbie girl!
 ....eat candy floss
 ....lie down on cuddly pillows
 ....see hearts and butterflies and rainbows
 ....scratch
 ....spill red juice
 ....feel squishy and fuzzy
 ....fingerpaint
 ....run through flowers
 ....giggle
 ....am ticklish!

One more kiddie snip

We were driving home today and I wanted to pop in at the shop before we got there so I took a slightly different route.

All of a sudden, my 4yr old pipes up "Mommy, this is the wrong way, you've lost our house!"

Brain bubble...

Maybe I'm too new at blogging and posting on the web - strange seeing as I've been at an ISP for almost 10 years - but I've recently started feeling the impact of what I post out in the great www...

Now I know that I cant take everything at face value and I realise that whatever is published out in cyberspace is usually subjective and often lacking in facts - especially proven facts..

Saying all that, however, when I posted a simple arbitrary thought/brain bubble the other day, I was amazed to see the reaction. I changed my status to being as 'busy as a fish...'

I was just looking for something ambiguous and maybe slightly funny to post instead of the usual status updates.

What was so amusing though, is that I had so many people suddenly asking me about my status!
Fish, what's fish got to do with it?
So, just how busy are fish?
What planet are you on that fish are busy? etcetc

I even had one of my friends Google "as busy as fish"!!! classic!! Someone actually took the time out to Google my status update :D

Just because I settled on fish :)

Colour me yellow...

When I'm feeling
...like singing walking on sunshine
...happy as a child
...bright as the noon day sun
...alive to my core
...golden
...like a daisy
...like lots of smiley faces :) :) :) :) :) 
...canaryish and ducklike
...lovely lemon-like
...friendly
...liquid warmth like syrup
...fuzzy and peach skinned
...glowing from the inside
...cautious as an F1 flag
...incipid, pale and washed out 
...like a failed code execution on a website
...withering like a dying yellow rose
...high-speed like a lan cable
...winning the Tour de France jersey
...showing off in a garish BMW
.........feeling yellow.....

Dreams

Dreams have always been something I've thought was really a special treat..

You know, not just a 'thing' that some people do on some nights but not on others, but something really extraordinary... a glimpse into the future or another world or, if you're really lucky, sometimes even a message..!

I get the same feeling when I dream as when someone gives me a present - the thrill of being special enough to get something and the feeling of anticipation about what you're going to get or what's going to happen next.. your heart beats a little faster and your mind races to try and figure out what the present is, or where your dream is going to take you next..

What I didnt realise though, is that I'm one of the lucky ones who can actually control their dreams if I want.. I thought that's what everyone did but apparently it's not. It's called 'lucid dreaming' and it can be learned however.. This just means that if I dont like the direction my dream is going in, then I change it, I make it a happier or nicer dream so most of my dreams are good dreams :)

There was a recurring dream I used to have when I was younger. It was a really tall multi-story building with me sortof a third the way up with people walking about and around me were cells, as in jail cells, but with comfy beds and an armchair in each and a tv etc, rather cosy..

If I looked up though, the cells became more sparse and bare with heavier bars and a whole lot more drained of colour and life, even the people walking around moved slower and seemed older and more grey. If I looked down things looked even better, more colourful and the people walked faster and were younger and younger until right at the bottom, there werent even bars, it was all just open with children running all over the place. There was a great big bright blue swimming pool in the middle that was filled with children playing and splashing and having an absolute ball that you could look down on. If you looked really carefully you could see that even the doors on the bottom floor were open and allowed anyone that wanted to, to walk outside.. The funny thing was that even though all the floors were connected, no one was even trying to go downstairs, they all walked around a bit and then eventually walked upstairs and then found a cell...

There was also a 'jailer' walking around. He was a yellow gold skeleton with a great big cowboy hat on and he carried something in his hands, what exactly no one could see, but he had something. He didnt say anything or do anything, he was just there, walking from one floor to the next but everyone seemed to be afraid of him for some reason.

I spoke to someone about my dream a couple of years later and they said it seemed to be an analogy for life - everyone is so concerned about moving to the next level (up each flight of stairs) and not noticing that they're slowly getting older and life is less rewarding than what it was (sparse cells and less colour).. What we dont realise is that we all have the connection with our inner child, but we're not using it (that's the stairs going down that no one uses). If we learn how to be children again then we'll realise that we're actually free to be who we want to be (the doors are open).. The jailer is basically the belief that we have that we are constrained by someone/something like wealth, status or fashion when there is actually no substance to it at all...

Deep stuff in there, well it's either that or I could've been seeing a couple of alternate episodes of Prison Break... ;)

Symbolism

I happened to be walking around yesterday and I saw someone obviously in a bit of distress clutching the cross around their neck, now, after being in a convent for 8 years, the cross is a very strong symbol for me even though I am now muslim and I started thinking about what it actually means to me.

What I came to realise is that the cross, the star and moon, the Jewish star, the pentacle, the turban, the yamacula, the numbers '666' '786' etc etc, all have something in common - they're all symbols of something. 

Ok, so I realise that that sentence seems rather obvious, but actually it's not. How many times has someone actually asked to have their licence plate changed because it was '666' and they didnt want to have any bad luck? How many arguments have started (and never actually finished) because someone said they couldnt have or they had to have the Jewish star/pentacle/cross in a certain place or that the number has special powers?

I know plenty of people that say that their symbol has magical powers and to be honest, if that works for them, then great. My personal feeling though is that it's not the symbol that has the power, it's the person. They are the source of the magic or the miracle. It's their belief that something is going to work that makes it happen. Unfortunately, they dont want to see that it was actually their doing. They would rather believe that it was something outside of them, something external that caused something amazing. 

Why dont they want to believe that it was them? Firstly I think it's easier to invest and focus all of our energies in something other than ourselves because we have this belief that we are not more than what we are - extraordinary.

Also I think it's because of the innate fear of failure we all have. If they admit that it was due to them, it will be expected again and again and what happens if it doesnt happen again? Then they wont be able to 'blame' the symbol, fate, a higher power for the lack of a miracle, they will feel that it's their 'fault'... and for me, that is humanity's biggest failure - the need to blame.

If we didnt feel the need to blame, we wouldnt have revenge, war, hate, crime, self-loathing, prejudice... I can carry on and on.. but we are brought up that way - blaming, fingerpointing, hiding, avoiding responsibility. 

How do we change this? I believe that even though there is already a lot of damage done in the world, each of us needs to start with ourselves and with our children.. everyone making a little change will change the world someday.

So back to the symbols. They don't have the power that we attribute them, but they do have the power to remind us who we are and what we're capable of, if we're strong enough to believe it.

Too much..

I've been doing a lot of reading and general investigating and searching on the internet recently.. on a sidenote: I wonder if scouring the internet counts as searching for the meaning of life? It must be on the www by now surely.....?

Anyway, I digress.. while I've been doing all this searching and signing up etc etc, I seem to have had a couple of revelations - 'Aha! moments' they're usually called.

The first 'Aha!' is that people don't know what they want.

Now I'm not talking about how you like your steak cooked or what colour you like, those questions you've been asked ever since you could talk so you've had to come up with an answer for those. Do you usually chose the same size and cut of jeans because you went through all the trouble years ago and have stuck with the choice you made then? Or do you usually wear a blue shirt with navy pants because your one girlfriend told you once that you looked good like that?

If I was to ask you how you like your coffee what would you say? Weak, sweet and milky? I doubt it - according to a study, 75% of people asked said "dark and strong" but only about 20% really like it "dark and strong"..

So what's going on..? Why do we lie about what we want - sometimes without even realising it? I'm think it's because we don't really think about things.. we're bombarded day after day with loads and loads of information and on top of that we've become so incredibly lazy and 'open minded' so we accept things at face value.. When the TV advertises people enjoying "strong black coffee with a rich dark aroma", we subconsciously think that this is how we are supposed to drink our coffee.. But when you go to make that cup, you're going to make it how you want it - no matter what the ads (or your doctor) says..

We're becoming immune to the usual advertising of everyday products. If you've been using a certain painkiller/toilet paper/breakfast cereal for years and it's been working for you, exactly what kind of advertising is going to get you to change your mind?

The advertising that works, however, is the advertising of the new and 'gadgety'. You've never seen this before, it could change your life (seriously....), you'll be a new/prettier/happier person once you have this.

When we say that we're going 'window shopping', that's just an excuse to go see what else is 'new' out there. We never knew that what we were missing out on was a Wii....! I mean, how did I ever get fit without the balance board/Billy Bo's Tai-bo videos/evening aerobics classes at the gym?

We're a culture of fickle and easily-bored creatures who have a handful of predetermined ideas that we've clung to from when we were angst-ridden teenagers, and the rest of our lives are easily swayed by whatever is new out there.. the iphone, twitter, wii, xbox, space saver, ps2, airbed, ps1, the big green clean machine... all the way back to sliced bread..

Everything is faster, cleaner, simpler, more efficient and we have more gadgets and things to help us get more time but I dont think I know anyone who sits around and says "Gee, look at all this free time I have now" after buying the latest and greatest gadget on the market...

And whatever is the latest and greatest now, is probably outdated in a month and old news in 6 - if you're lucky.. I'm even lucky if you've got this far into my blog..

I have to revise my 'Aha!' statement. We do know what we want, and that is that we want to be happy, but we're looking for things to 'make' us happy instead of looking inwards, because it's only us that can make ourselves happy.. nothing else..

Random thoughts...

Who figured out that we only use 10% (or less) of our brain? did someone remove the other 90% and say, "hey look, he's still the same politician he always was..."

How did ducks figure out aerodynamics and how to fly so close to each other without creating huge pile ups in the sky..?

What is the definition of what's 'instant' - I mean, I wait at least 3 minutes for water to boil when making instant coffee..

Why do we say 'freshen up'? it's not like anything's gone down has it?

How can two seemingly opposite words mean the same thing - flammable and inflammable.. and was there a word fight to see who could get their word into the dictionary first?

Who looked at a cow many many years ago and said "lemme drink whatever I get out when I squeeze here..."

Why do we cut down trees to build jungle gyms?